Well I love to say I told you so, except not at the expense of your career. OnlyFans has announced that it has been successfully cucked by “payment providers” and will no longer be peddling your lewds. Once again the NSFW community is discovering that relying on a third party website to support their livelihood is perhaps the scariest decision they’ve ever made.

This post is a transcript for the video below, feel free to watch that instead, or feel free to keep reading!

Here’s the full statement as it currently stands:

“Effective 1 October, 2021, OnlyFans will prohibit the posting of any content containing sexually-explicit conduct. In order to ensure the long-term sustainability of the platform, and to continue to host an inclusive community of creators and fans, we must evolve our content guidelines. Creators will continue to be allowed to post content containing nudity as long as it is consistent with our Acceptable Use Policy. These changes are to comply with the requests of our banking partners and payout providers. We will be sharing more details in the coming days, and we will actively support and guide our creators through this change in content guidelines.”

I saw this crop up super early yesterday. I popped open google docs to write a script and then promptly vomited due to how tired I am. I just became a dad three weeks ago. And you don’t know what tired is until you’ve gone past sleepy straight back into wide awake, except losing the ability to keep food on the inside of your body.

But maybe it’s for the best I didn’t crank anything out too fast, because really that statement above tells us sweet fuck all about what’s happening.

This is what I wrote yesterday:

“Frustratingly I don’t have my hands on the raw press release, as they seem to have prioritised sending them out to news publications rather than dropping it somewhere where actual creators can read it. Either I’m bad at looking or this is like breaking up with a girlfriend by casually mentioning it to everyone except her.”

But really what this is, is a perfect illustration of where their priorities lie. Onlyfans does not give a single flying creampie about their community. Because if they did they would have contacted the community directly first. No, this is a giant booty call to all the venture capitalists they couldn’t pull while being burdened with the success of tits and ass. This is them saying “Hey baby look I’m single now I burned down the house for you! I’m a shitter version of Patreon now let’s go out!”

Their announcement has been so rushed that some people actually believe it’s a fake blast sent to reporters. And I can see why. The fact that there was absolutely no official statement on their blog, support pages, or twitter definitely made the whole thing very suspect. 

However let’s do the sexiest thing on earth… Reading the new and updated terms and services to find out what’s up. Now let me give the cliffnotes for this one. Nudity is still allowed, but only dry, untouched, sterile dicks and vaginas are allowed. Never the twain shall meet.

  1. shows, promotes, advertises or refers to “sexually explicit conduct”, which means:
    1. actual or simulated sexual intercourse, including genital-genital, oral-genital, anal-genital, or oral-anal, between persons of any sex;
    2. actual or simulated masturbation;
    3. any exhibition of the anus or genitals of any person which is extreme or offensive;
    4. actual or simulated material depicting bodily fluids commonly secreted during sexual conduct;

Onlyfans loves that artistic softcore. I find this whole thing quite offensive quite frankly. There’s no situation in which I can ever show my anus or genitals in which it ISN’T considered extreme or offensive.

So in practical terms teasers will be A-OK, and if they still want to provide hardcore content they’ll need to learn how to use mega-upload and casually link it to their supporters.

In some of my most downbuzz moments on this channel I have stated that there is no place to rest for NSFW creators. It’s always only a matter of time before a platform decides it’s sick of the success and trouble you’ve brought to it. So if you’re in the industry, please don’t put all your eggs into one basket. That’s the single best piece of advice we can take away from this.

On a personal level I’ve actually set up my website izzybsides.com in the last few weeks to now support patreon/onlyfans style subscription content. So if you wanted to support me and get me away from my dayjob consider signing up for however much you can afford. All supporters get exclusive content and alts that  are added to regularly. Eventually I’m gonna start running polls so you guys can decide what I draw next, and also when I get enough support on there I’m considering getting my own video hosting as well, so when this channel inevitably gets deleted we still have watchable backups elsewhere. It’d also be a good venue for videos that are maybe too explicit for this here Youtubes, so I could post videos with actual hentai content in them, rather than this more sterile look I go for here.

Oh and the puking thing I mentioned at the top of the vid. MissyBsides took good care of me, she’s the best. She has two babys now, a big one and a little one.

Thanks for watching this far, you know what time it is, like the video and subscribe for more! I think down the line I might actually have to make a tutorial on how people can make their own paywalls, cause it’s not super hard. I’ve been around long enough that I remember when that was totally normal for NSFW creators to do, it seems that these days it’s a forgotten art thrown away in favour of the ease of discoverability on third party sites. ANYWAY THATS A DIFFERENT VIDEO BYE.